“Are there things which I, Jerun Pollin, owner and founder of The First Bank of Skymoore, Also Called the Last Bank of Seamoore, Formerly Called the Second Bank of Seamoore, can assist you with today?”
“Yes. I need-”
“To help you would stimulate my pleasure centers to no end.”
“Er…”
“I mean to say, it would please me, Jerun Pollin, owner and founder of The First Bank of Skymoore, Also Called the Last Bank of Seamoore, Formerly Called the Second Bank of Seamoore, greatly, if I could help you with what it is for which you require help. But first, would you be interested in hearing the word of Rohypnar, Eternal Lord of the Stars, the Sky, the Sea, the Earth, and All That Ever Was or Will Be? She is our savior and our destroyer. Our darkness and our light. The end is nigh and only Her words will prepare us for the coming trials.”
“Perhaps another time,” Donovan replied. “I need to make a withdrawal. A substantial one.”
Jerun Pollin bubbled. “Very well then. The account which you are attempting to open is in whose name?”
“Odd & Ends. A business.”
“Yes. The time between my exit from this location and my return will be negligible. Your patience, though unnecessary, is appreciated.”
True to its word, Jerun Pollin brought the lockbox back quite swiftly (for a cube of sentient jelly). The lockbox eyed Donovan suspiciously.
“Speak the secret you whispered at the time of registration.”
“Like a password? My business partner set up this box in my name. I’ll have to be back, then, so I can ask him for it.”
“Wait just a moment,” Jerun Pollin said with as much urgency as it could muster, which was very little. “The lockbox can only open with a secret that has never been shared with anyone but the lockbox. If your business partner tells you the secret, then the lockbox will remain closed forever. And yet, the box is registered under the name of Donovan Allman, which, I presume, is you, and not your business partner. Skymoore law dictates that only the individual under whose name a lockbox is registered may open a lockbox. So, by both magic and law, this box seems to be sealed so long as Skymoore still floats and your business still stands. Isn’t that both inconvenient and, objectively speaking, quite amusing?”
Donovan Allman did not look amused. In fact, Jerun Pollin thought a piece of Donovan’s soul might have left him in the sigh of frustration that followed.
“Before you leave, would you like to hear the lord of Rohypnar, Eternal Lord of the Stars, the Sky, the Sea, the Earth, and All That Ever Was or Will Be?”
Judging by the fact Donovan left before Jerun got a third of the way through his sentence, it seemed he did not. This really disappointed Jerun, because, if it were being honest (an activity it did not make a habit of), it would admit that it remembered very well under whose name the box was registered, and how amused it was when Nestor signed the box under Donovan’s name. Yes, if it were being honest, Jerun would admit it just wanted an opportunity to spread Her word.
Restlessly, it shuffled the stack of Rohypnar pamphlets it made by hand (or…corner?), and eagerly awaited its next opportunity.
Odd & Ends 