Wednesday, Summer 3rd: Hot Sauce Appreciation Day
It’s that time of year again. The day when we celebrate the legacy of Pulldrid the Riser by consuming his favorite condiment: hot sauce! While the event technically lasts twenty-six hours, the main festivities are held in the Sunlit Market from ten to fifteen o’clock as the community participates in the annual Hot Sauce Contest!
Come enjoy a day of free food and entertainment, and vote for your favorite sauce. Reigning champion Ingrid Nittlepick will be returning with her Atomic Antisceptic, but Telmark Graugh has been promising us a concoction as hot as his fire breath! Can he overthrow the hot sauce queen? Or will it be someone else entirely? Come on down, join the festivities, and find out!!
Saturday, Summer 5th: Church of Rohypnar Fundraiser
Have you heard the word of Rohypnar, Eternal Lord of the Stars, the Sky, the Sea, the Earth, and All That Ever Was or Will Be? Local banker Jerun Pollin hopes so! Devout followers, curious townsfolk, and everyone in-between are welcome to attend the event, which will have carnival games, a trivia contest, and an auction of items that people have left in Jerun’s bank over the year, thus legally making them his property. If you’ve been wondering where that darn watch went, this might be the event for you!
The event will be held at four outside The First Bank of Skymoore, Also Called the Last Bank of Seamoore, Formerly Called the Second Bank of Seamoore.
Tuesday, Summer 9th: Science Day
This year’s Randomly-Selected Board of Education is celebrating the summer term with a Science Day event being held in Herbs ‘n Stuff starting at nine. This year’s theme: Narcotics! Members of the town guard will give lectures on the dangers that drugs pose to the population, and will advise kids to stay away from the growing drug trade in the seedier parts of town, no matter how lucrative your cousin Lenny makes it sound.
In addition to the lectures, there will be a hands-on portion, where students are encouraged to take samples from over thirty different narcotics in order to better understand what it is that makes these drugs harmful. To conclude the class, Herbs ‘n Stuff owner Kooey Man says that he and the students will “just, like, chill, and talk about how the day makes us feel.” Sounds like a fun time!
While the Committee of Public Health Ferrets have of course deemed all narcotics unfit for recreational consumption or observation, they have made an exception for this day. At least, that’s what the Translator Druids tell us anyway. We’re so fortunate to have a government that puts our children’s education above their safety!
Saturday, Summer 12th: Polardogm Youth League Playoffs Begin
What a season it’s been! Everyone played their best, but the Goblins, Pioneers, Soothsayers, and Backscratchers played just a little better. The first game of the playoffs is between the Goblins and Soothsayers and will, of course, be held in the field behind the Church of Sol. Given the infamous rivalry between Olgan Peltcruncher and Saria Aimtrue, this should be an intense and fun time for all!
Sunday, Summer 12th: Number Conservation Day
Monday, Summer 13th: Spirit Cleanse*
The Church of the True Believers is holding their annual Spirit Cleanse. Thanks to the approval of an Unnamed Government Body, five-hundred randomly-selected citizens are legally bound to participate in this event, held at The Church of the True Believers at zero hour.
Every participant must first make an offering to Sol, and then place the material possession which means most to them in a pile on the church stage. Then, participants are blindfolded and chosen at random to approach the pile and draw one item from it, which they may then keep. This way, the participants learn a lesson about what’s truly valuable in life without technically being wasteful! As they say, one man’s treasure is another man’s…eh, whatever.
*This entry sponsored by The Church of the True Believers and their Unnamed Government Body benefactors.
Friday, Summer 17th: No One Is Real, Everyone Is Real – An Art Exhibit
Leave your self-conceptions at the door when you enter this art exhibit hosted by Unfinished Portrait, proprietor of The Dusty Hammer. Located in an unmarked warehouse in the Arts District (“you’ll know it when you see it,” Portrait claims), this exhibit urges you to relieve yourself of your name and social bonds when you walk through the door, leaving behind only your truest self.
Through a series of interactive art pieces including “Your Most Painful Memory, Redux,” “Literally Walking Through Fire and then Diving into Freezing Water Just to Understand the Spectrum of Life and Pain,” and “Take That, Dad!” this exhibition will allow all of its guests the opportunity to acknowledge what it is that holds them back from being their happiest selves and leave those behind in the warehouse. Unfinished Portrait hopes that each of you will leave the gallery feeling just as free, honest, and peculiarly named as he is.
Saturday, Summer 18th: The Red Moon’s Shadow – Opening Night!
The Red Moon’s Shadow, which is being performed at Luminous, is a play written by local playwright Tim Belcherk. It tells the story of The Suntouched’s famed liberation of Dol Belvargammar from fanatics attempting to end the tenuous peace between Dol elves and their dwarven neighbors. Starring Lesol Ashek as The Suntouched and rising star Delia Findlesmith as Lady Erelith Hatchet. Directed by Gwendolyn Bottlehelm.
Skymoore newcomer Donovan Allman, co-owner of Odd & Ends and something of an expert on The Suntouched, will speak a little about the hero before the premiere. Should be an informative and entertaining evening for all!